What Time Is It?

The ticking and chiming emanating from the booth at the antique store drew me. Clocks of every size, shape and vintage provided a happy cacophony.

The sounds sparked deep memories. We lived in an apartment above my grandfather’s jewelry store for my first year. My mother took me downstairs to work, placing my bassinet on top of a showcase where she could keep her eye on me while waiting on customers. The customers entertained me for her, as did the wall of ticking clocks behind the showcases. Most belonged to customers and were being regulated before being returned. “Regulation” meant they were checked for being too fast or too slow. Mechanical clocks could be adjusted.

Family lore says that my first word was “clock.” I hope that is true. All the social interaction at the store led me to being an early talker, to my father’s chagrin. At least, it was useful in my career.

I started my own collection of antique clocks when I lived in New England. I unconsciously recreated the comforting sounds of a variety of ticking and chiming. Now we check the time on our phones or ask Alexa. Watches worn on the wrist do almost everything you can think of. A mechanical watch worn on the wrist is either retro or a statement piece.

Next week, we will “fall back” to Eastern Standard Time. Changing the time is a reminder that timekeeping is a social construct, albeit one with a very long history. Our pets will have the most difficulty adjusting their rhythm for different feeding times. I will hear purring and feel the light touch of a paw on my cheek about 4:30 a.m. After the time changes, it will feel like the holidays are rushing toward us. I feel the way this meme states it, “Retail stores think I should be putting up my Christmas tree while I eat turkey in my Halloween costume.”

Despite the myriad ways we have of telling time, it is difficult to know what time it is in an existential way. Talking heads from different perspectives sound alarms and add to a sense of anxiety and worry. We are left to wonder about the veracity and completeness of what we hear. It can make us angry until we want to shut it off. This would be my cat's preference for me.

The ancient poem of opposites in Ecclesiastes 3 reminds that we do not live on the “big picture” side of things.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven;

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh:

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, NRSVA

Unlike the mechanical clocks in my grandfather’s store, humans are able to regulate ourselves. Self-regulation is incredibly useful in times of stress and uncertainty. Self-regulation is a set of skills we can learn and practice. Self-regulation refers to being able to control one’s thoughts, emotions and impulses that may lead to destructive behaviors and poor choices. It is not that one does not still feel sad, angry or stressed. It is that one has more of a range of options for how one chooses to respond, rather than being driven to respond in certain ways that have harmful or unintended consequences. (For more information on self-regulation, see Harvard Health Publishing.)

It is no surprise that mindfulness, awareness of our breath, good diet and exercise, and sleep habits make self-regulation more available to us.

It may seem counterintuitive to focus on one’s self-regulation as the best offering to the world in chaotic and uncertain times. An option is to think of it this way:

“People give what they carry inside.

Confident people uplift. Kind people include. Mature people communicate. Focused people don’t compete. Grounded people protect their peace. Happy people encourage. Secure people celebrate others. Growing people learn to let go.

People give what they carry inside.” (From a Facebook personal blog, Theselflesslover.)