"Why I won’t march…." an opinion

Karen Shexnayder

Submitted by Karen Schexnayder

For the past 45 years I’ve watched as people threw hurtful glances and spoke words that cut like a knife at my brother, who is deaf, mentally retarded and has autism. I often wondered why someone would do this to a person, who is already hurting. It wasn’t just uneducated people who did this. No, it has been people from every walk of life and economic status - folks who purported to be ‘good people’ – those who attend church, leaders in the community, moms and dads raising children.

As a sibling of someone with special needs, I’ve learned that to change a person’s perspective, it takes education and communication. It requires standing up and speaking for those who cannot. The needle moves in the right direction one person at a time. To me, a march in Washington or Amelia Island is not going to change the opinion of someone who sees those with disabilities as unworthy. You have to get to the bottom as to why they feel that way, then slowly educate that person about individuals with disabilities, what the medical diagnosis really means and how if given the right opportunities, the disabled can flourish.

I’m not a very political person and in fact, I tend to back away from political conversations. I won’t be waving a party flag or sporting a candidate’s swag. Like many, I feel as though the leaders of our country have become removed from what the ‘average’ person feels and needs. I believe those who want to truly effect change get involved in the everyday trenches of life.

If we want our daughters, nieces, granddaughters and all little girls to break the proverbial glass ceiling, we need to be the role models they need to see in life. I was fortunate to have been raised by parents who encouraged me to dream big and provided me the opportunities to achieve my goals. Sadly, there are girls whose dreams are being extinguished, many, right here in our backyard.

Across Nassau County there are organizations such as Take Stock in Children, the Boys and Girls Club and Communities in Schools, among others, who need us to inspire children, to be their hope when they have none and to encourage them to shoot for the stratosphere. We need to champion girls who want to be engineers, mathematicians and scientists. Our children need us to help navigate the seas of adolescence and be their anchor when they feel they’re floating away from their goals.

There are women in shelters who need our counsel, support and strength to move beyond abusive relationships. There are folks with disabilities who work at our local restaurants and retailers. They need our kindness and we need to give them confidence in themselves.

If we want our voices to be heard, we need to speak by doing the things we feel need changed. Imagine if everyone who plans to march on Saturday would walk into a school, nonprofit or woman’s shelter and ask, “How may I help?” Those who selflessly give of their time and talents to make their community better, make the biggest impact.

I’ve been my brother’s voice countless times. I’ve reminded people that while he may be deaf, he sees how he and those like him are treated and it hurts. Instead of marching, I chose to be a voice.