Choosing her casket

Aunt Helen was getting old. A number of unfortunate incidents had befallen her over the course of a few years. The loss of her mother and father, two brothers, and two of her sisters. A fractured pelvis. Giving up the home she had known for over 60 years. Nearly everyone she had taken care of was gone.

Aunt Helen was all about taking care of others. She served her whole life. No one ever waited on her. And if they tried, she didn't know how to handle it. She had worked tirelessly for many years at the Carnegie Museum in Pittsburgh, running the post office housed in the museum nearly single-handedly. She waited on customers every day, taking care of every aspect of that office. She drove from her home in Carrick — which she shared with her father and mother and two sisters — to Oakland every day of the week.

She never married. Her nieces Peggie and Carol were the daughters she never had. She helped her widowed sister Bea raise the girls.

Almost everyone had moved away or died. There was no one left in Pittsburgh. Except for an occasional visit from nieces and nephews and a dear lawyer friend, she lived alone.

During one particular visit from Peggie, Aunt Helen suggested that it was time to "get her affairs in order." Among other things, that meant a trip to the funeral home. Cieslak & Tatko Funeral Home had taken care of the affairs of her two sisters, Mary and Marge. Mr. Tatko had worked with Helen to bury her sisters, and she was grateful. And so, on a sunny day in Pittsburgh, Peggie picked her up, and they drove to the Brentwood funeral home.

Ed and Laura Tatko, a father and daughter team of funeral directors, greeted Helen and Peggie at the door. They welcomed them in and offered refreshments. They made a fuss over Aunt Helen. They never rushed, asking questions and being genuinely interested in everything Aunt Helen had to say. Eventually, they gently moved the conversation from talk about everyday things to the business at hand.

It was time to move to the "back room." The casket showcase room. Peggie was nervous, as she did not know how Aunt Helen would react to seeing the wooden boxes. Ed and Laura described the options to Aunt Helen sensitively and caringly. Aunt Helen reacted as if she were buying a new car! She examined the wood of each casket, asking questions and admiring the workmanship of each one. She explained how her two brothers had been master cabinet makers, and how they would have been impressed by the handiwork of the casket makers.

Helen said that she had an outfit in her closet that she was to be "laid out" in — but she said that she would swim in it, as she had lost so much weight. She noticed some beautiful outfits hanging up in the casket room and began to ask Laura about them. Laura gently and lovingly described the outfits to her. A blue one caught her eye. She said that she thought she might look nice in that one. Laura enthusiastically agreed. It was as though Aunt Helen was choosing an outfit to go to a grand ball.

After they left, Aunt Helen talked about her host and hostess as if they were old friends. Weren't they wonderful! she said. It was obvious that this was a rare day. A day of fond remembrance.

And so, a sunny day in Pittsburgh turned out to be one of the sweetest days of Aunt Helen's life. Two people who were virtual strangers made her feel special. They made her feel like she mattered. They treated her with the respect and dignity that she deserved.

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If you have a story you'd like to share here in the Fernandina Observer — about a neighbor or friend or stranger or business that showed kindness, or about kindness and compassion in general — please contact Peggie Weeks at pegweeks@gmail.com