Teach your children well

I see much to appreciate in the first photo I share with you on Mother’s Day. It is of two beautiful young girls enthusiastically holding signs of their creation high above their heads at a protest rally. I don’t know if they are sisters or friends, but they are sisters in spirit. They are appropriately dressed in sun hats and t-shirts with empowering slogans. One wears glasses, as I did at that age. I imagine one of the women in the background is their mother. On a lovely Saturday, they are not at home watching cartoons or going to ballet class. They are in the street with others from their community, standing up for what they believe.

Empowering girls and women to protect their hard-won rights over many decades of struggle is their message. I imagine they heard some of the women in their lives talking about this day and they wanted to be a part of it. They want to live in a future as bright with possibility as the joy in their young faces. I applaud the women who enabled these girls to be part of this day. They will remember it. They will remember that their voices mattered and that they participated in a movement greater than themselves. They will remember that being part of a community is a privilege and a responsibility on which they need to act. They will remember that mothers protect and empower, teach and lead, nurture and challenge.

This next photo is meaningful in a different way. This little guy holds a sign of his own creation. Instead of words, his sign is crayon scribbles. He knew what he was saying. He probably saw his parents making signs and he wanted in on the action. They gave him some cardboard and he went to work. His upright arms show pride in his creation. He is making a statement. He is part of something bigger. He matters. What inspired parenting allowed him to take his part at this early age. He is not just a spectator in a backpack, dragged along with activist parents. He is an integral part of the event.

Part of the lyrics to a song by Graham Nash of Crosby, Stills and Nash came to mind from these images. They were written in 1970 but are still true today.

Teach Your Children

And you, of tender years can’t know the fears your elders grew by. Help them with your youth, they seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well. Their children's hell will slowly go by. And feed them on your dreams, the one they pick's the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why. If they told you, you would cry, so just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

Lyrics from a song written in 1949 by Rodgers and Hammerstein also came to mind as I thought about the role of parents as teachers who lead by example. These lyrics are from the musical, “South Pacific.” And were controversial. The creators stuck by their commitment to the song. “You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught” by Oscar Hammerstein instructs that racism is not innate, but is a learned behavior. The show was accused of communist sympathies, which was a dangerous accusation back then. Here are the relevant lyrics:

You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear,
You’ve got to be taught from year to year,
It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear—
You’ve got to be carefully taught!

You’ve got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a different shade—
You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate—
You’ve got to be carefully taught!

In today’s lingo, the worst accusation one can hurl at another is not “communist,” but “groomer.” Isn’t it ironic that “grooming” or teaching by example is exactly what others are seeking to do? Aren’t they trying to impose their views and values on others, like it or not? The plea that it is “all for the children” falls flat because there is no congruence between the message and messenger(s). Each one is free to stand for what one believes. It is not OK to impose one’s views on others through manipulation, intimidation and defamation.

Whether or not you are a parent or grandparent or Sunday School teacher or community leader or speaker at a podium, remember that children are watching and learning from you. You have an opportunity to demonstrate your values and beliefs in all you say and do. Teach the children well.