Dare to Connect

In Denmark, you can check out a book or another human at the library. This innovative project is called the Human Library, and its aim is to fight prejudice and stigma of marginalized groups.

Volunteers register to be part of the human library with one word describing them, like: unemployed, mentally ill, hyperactive, addict, or LGBTQ. If someone checks out a person, they listen to their life story for 30 minutes, ask questions and have a private conversation. The hope is that by listening to a real person, the other person will learn to stop judging a book by its cover, so to speak.

The library in Copenhagen has created a “reading garden” where conversations can take place in a serene and private setting. The program is so successful it has spread to other countries and expanded its programs. Its newest slogan is “unjudge someone.” Learn more at the Human Library.

There is probably some self-selection involved in terms of those willing to volunteer and those interested enough to participate. If a program like this facilitates mutual understanding in a supportive environment, I am all for it.

Closer to home, 904ward out of Jacksonville has been offering innovative programs for the past 10 years. I have participated in several held at the Cummer Museum and elsewhere.

904ward has developed a set of cards called “Race Cards” that can be used in any group to further dialogue.

Do you know what it feels like to be judged on the basis of a label alone? Are you willing to imagine what that feels like? I am a cisgendered, white female in the United States so it seems unlikely I would be marginalized in any way. However “ordained woman in ministry” is my subgroup.

I first publicly announced that I felt a strong call to ministry when I was in my teens. I would often hear back, especially from clergy, “You mean you want to marry a minister.” I would correct them and say, “No, I am going to be a minister. I am called to preach.” That would be the end of the conversation. They would walk away with either a befuddled or angry look. I did get enough encouragement from family and friends to pursue my calling.

Here is another innovative program that encourages people to dare to connect.

Would you be brave enough to answer a personal question in public while being recorded?

I was surprised to find reels on Facebook where people on the street in various cities were doing that very thing. The project is called Dose of Society. And yes, it is a digital media company. Don’t let that turn you off. The project is essentially about storytelling.

Their website states that the core of their mission is to spark meaningful conversations that lead to change. They are committed to forming a global movement that celebrates diversity and empowers voices from all walks of life. They have also developed a game called Dare2Share cards that you can use with any small group of family or friends or classmates.

In another aspect of the work, they conduct street interviews. People, usually of the millennial or Gen-Z age groups, are stopped on the street and asked if they will answer a question and be recorded. I don’t know how often they are turned down. Those who agree to be recorded are remarkably honest. They are asked personal and sometimes difficult questions. Here are some samples:

• What happened when you ignored red flags in a relationship?
• What is burdening you right now?
• Tell me something about yourself that would surprise me.
• If a relationship you were in ended, whose fault was it and what happened?
• What one thing would you tell your younger self?

You can listen to a number of different interviews on YouTube, in the reels on their Facebook page or on their website to get an idea of how the interviews are conducted and some of the results. They can be very moving.

There are many forces whose aim is to keep us in silos of sameness or echo chambers or circles of comfort. The benefit to others is chaos, division and apathy. The isolation of the pandemic and subsequent problems in recent years have not helped. Also, people are not as connected to clubs, groups and religious organizations as they were in the past. It would seem that the places to have meaningful conversations have dwindled.

It does not have to be that way. These organizations and others like them are committed to a more inclusive future where everyone belongs and feels valued. I applaud the creative efforts that have sprung up to create an opportunity to connect possible, even using the very technology we often blame for our separation.

All it takes to get started is a willingness on your part to dare to connect.